Ode to a Kilt

These little dittis came from our Rick Steves guide.

 

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Ode to a kilt

A Scotsman clad in his many patterned kilt left the bar one evening fair. One could tell by the way he walked that he had drunk more than his fair share. He wandered round and round till he could no longer keep his feet. Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ahout this time two young and lovely girls just happened to be passing by. One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye: "See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built. I wonder if it is true what they don't wear beneath their kilt?"

They crept up on that sleeping Scot as quiet as quiet could be, then they lifted up his bonnie kilt about an inch so they could see. And there behold for them to see twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon the day of his birth.

They marvelled for a moment then one said we must be gone. Lets leave a little present for our friend before we move along. As a gift they left a silk blue ribbon tied up in a bow around the bonnie sight the Scottish skirt to them did show.

Now the Scotsman woke to natures call and stumbled toward the trees behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawps at what he sees. And in a startled voice says to what is before his eyes: "Och laddie I don't know where you' ve been but I see you won first prize!"

 

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First you have the Welsh who pray on their knees and on their neighbours.

Then you have the Scots who keep the Sabbath and every thing else they can get their hands on.

Then you have the Irish who don't know what they want but will fight you for it anyway.

Then you have the English who are a self-made race which absolves God almighty of a great deal of responsibility.

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